The Gift of Editing

Dear Youngboy
Your music is the best.
I listen to you everyday.
While walking to school
My friend introduced me to
you.
If I’m sad I listen to
you. If I am happy, listen
to you.
either way I listen to
you.

This beautiful gold framed mirror doesn’t know who
I am,
Sot it gave me my own title, my own name,
and the only me I know myself as.
No, it’s not the pretty girl or the girl who
always picks out the most fashionable outifts,
but I am the girl who wants to stomp on
this gold framed mirror until it breaks.
And somehow I let it stomp on my roots
until I broke.
That gold mirror tears my heart away until
there’s nothing left to tear.
Now it gave me a name, a title and a finally
a phrase I find myself looking at in the
gold framed mirror every single day:
I don’t want to be you anymore.
In the mirror I see the girl I don’t want to be.
So as I feel up with negative,
I slowly fade away into darkness of
the gold framed mirror that still doesn’t
know my name, but it led. me to my
title it gave me. But I am Mackenzie and
that’s who I want to be.

I am a fish
swimming through the
water

A shark, jaws open
for its next best victim

The pool is like
a sea to a surfer

Every moment dwells
on my pool

Its smell is like
a spray of the
ocean, a wave

Its smell lingers in
my skin and hair

Because the pool, the
pool is mine.

Was it the hula hoops
or just fate

She thinks it started
with hula hoops
that’s what
I remember.

Then it turned into “hey wanna
call?”                 she said “yes of course”
He was happy.

One day she was busy.

he wanted to
call.
“I can call at night.”

They laughed that night

She didn’t mean to
say it.

“I love you.”

She said it was
a joke.
So he laughed.
She did too.

but she really
did love him.

Did he love her back.

She will pass the highschool
test and get into the high school

he goest to

but again
hula hoops.
That’s where E and T
met.

It’s just middle
school
Really just is.
or fate.

Why? My brother asks
Who, when, how?
No, I say
no, not now.
Why? Why shut down
his inquisitive mind
Why not wander
Try to find the answer

How? How do I ignore
the millions of questions
coming to shore
How do I block the never ending
wave
White water of words
How do I not cave

Who? Who am I
without the counterpart?
Oh my god, I can’t even
start

When? When will the questions
that provide answers
that provide questions
stop
When will the thrill
the storm
the rainbow
end
My forever friend
Because when you ask
I will answer
Why?
Because he’s my brother.

Hello. I’m your
daughter.
We play
you fight.
play
fight
play
fight
…

Goodbye. But where are
you going?
We call and I
Obviously rattle on
like the little kid I am.
But were you..
worried?

Hello. I love you so much.
I now see you from
time to time.
We live
simply.
A couch
A bed or two
A tv
A lot of toys.

You are here
because of me.
You love me
Our love is the
sun.

Hello. We
move a lot.
We eat the same thing.

Goodbye.
“I’ll see you next
week”
That’s normal,  normal
to say,
right?

Hello. This lady
comes. We
Sit, the tomatoes
bright red.
I thought she
was nice,
I thought she
could save me.
She killed me
instead.
She lied to everyone. She
put words
in
my
mouth. They taste
bitter.
You tell me I
will never
see her again.

Goodbye. It’s
not just me
and you.
The apartment is
full. You’re
not just mine.
It’s okay,
we’re happy.

Hello. You taught
me to be
curious so
I am.
I ask
questions. You
tell me.
We’re in
trouble.

Hello.
Goodbye.
Hello.
Goodbye.
I love you.
Hello.
Goodbye.